The Warp and Weft of conversations
There was once a famous musician – Francis Blanc, in Paris, who was
eloquent about his laurels, music tours and influential people who praised his
art. After his annual grand show, a young boy - Gabriel, approached him and said, “Monsieur,
I look up to you as an inspiration and have been practising playing violin for
quite some time. I’d like to learn from you and would like you to see a small
piece that I have prepared.” With a stern look he allowed Gabriel to play for
him. He goes on to play for Francis, in all his excitement and happiness, but
not a line on his face budged. Gabriel then went on to put more effort to
please the famous musician but despite everything, Francis held his
expressions. “Oh Mon Dieu! Boy, you’re not carved for this art. I’d advice you
to look for another trade, for Music is not your forte”, Francis said cutting
Gabriel’s performance and left.
The Young boy felt dejected, for music was his passion. Walking back
to his home, Gabriel broke his violin and swore to bring down Francis’ pride.
That day he decided, he’d never play violin, ever.
Years go by and Gabriel became a successful industrialist of Europe.
He was known for his business acumen and also for giving a platform to the
young musicians to showcase their talent at various philanthropic events that
were hosted by his organisation. Eventually the young talent would get various
opportunities from this platform itself.
Year after Year, Gabriel’s organisation achieves many milestones and
to celebrate the journey, they decide to host a Grand Music event. The
preparations were all done, the musicians from all across Europe were invited
and Francis was invited too. By now he had grown old and his music had travelled
the world. Gabriel wasn’t aware of this invitation though! In the event,
performance after performance, he enjoys the evening and then he hears a
familiar tune. The old wounds of past started opening up again. He trembled, as
he recalled every smash of his violin on the streets of Paris. The words of
Francis echoed in his mind and with great difficulty he collected himself
again.
Francis completed his performance and the hall filled with
thunderous applause. He was about to bow down to his audience and convey his
gratitude for their appreciation, the crowd turned to Gabriel. He screamed,
“What an amateur performance! A musician of your calibre is capable to put up a
better show. What a disgrace!”. Hearing this, Francis got this shock of his life.
He said, “Monsieur, I’m sorry to have disappointed you. If you allow, let me
put forth another piece for you”. Gabriel was in no mood to listen. He said,
“Perhaps with age, your talent is diminishing too. Maybe its time you should
look for another trade.”
There were murmurs in the crowd, but they were all led to the dinner
hall. That’s when Francis walked up to Gabriel and said, “Monsieur, in my whole
career no one ever criticised my performance the way you did. I’d like to know what
is it exactly that you were expecting”. Gabriel replied, “Anyone, but you!” and
then he goes on to remind Francis how his indifferent and blunt remarks changed
him for life, so much so that he gave up his music.
Francis, with a smile on his face, said, “You may have had a great
talent for music, I don’t deny that. But were you passionate enough to make it
your livelihood? If yes, my comments wouldn’t have bothered you but it did and
see you’re far more successful today. What I told you is what I tell all the
aspiring musicians. The life of an artist is not an easy one. As much as you
want appreciation you should be able to take the criticism too”
“But you could have been empathetic”, screamed Gabriel.
“Well, that’s my style”, said Francis walking out of the hall humming
one of his melodies
Gabriel just stood there, in the middle of the hall, trying to
fathom – what just happened?
How would the story change if Francis would be more empathetic in his feedback or he’d have chosen another way of giving advice. What if Gabriel, continued with his music despite Francis’ comments? What if Gabriel acted with his wisdom and asked Francis his questions in a mature way?
The possibilities are endless, but what we do and act in that
moment, changes the course of things at the end of the day! Handling crucial
situations, require candid and honest conversations. In the process, we can
actually strengthen relationships and create an impact.
A conversation is successful when the warp (you) and the weft (the
other person) works together. The story of Francis and Gabriel is a lesson for
us to never make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings and try to
understand your audience before or during the interaction. As we do this, we’d
neither grieve for what’s in the past nor worry about what’s yet to come;
instead we’d just stay in the present and make the most of it!
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