The Warp and Weft of conversations

 


Often we come across situations when stakes are high, opinions differ and emotions run strong. That’s when we stand at the cross – roads of taking that one decision whether to go with our impulses or take a step back and look at the situation holistically and then take an action. That one decision can change our life, just like Gabriel’s!

There was once a famous musician – Francis Blanc, in Paris, who was eloquent about his laurels, music tours and influential people who praised his art. After his annual grand show, a young boy  - Gabriel, approached him and said, “Monsieur, I look up to you as an inspiration and have been practising playing violin for quite some time. I’d like to learn from you and would like you to see a small piece that I have prepared.” With a stern look he allowed Gabriel to play for him. He goes on to play for Francis, in all his excitement and happiness, but not a line on his face budged. Gabriel then went on to put more effort to please the famous musician but despite everything, Francis held his expressions. “Oh Mon Dieu! Boy, you’re not carved for this art. I’d advice you to look for another trade, for Music is not your forte”, Francis said cutting Gabriel’s performance and left.

The Young boy felt dejected, for music was his passion. Walking back to his home, Gabriel broke his violin and swore to bring down Francis’ pride. That day he decided, he’d never play violin, ever.

Years go by and Gabriel became a successful industrialist of Europe. He was known for his business acumen and also for giving a platform to the young musicians to showcase their talent at various philanthropic events that were hosted by his organisation. Eventually the young talent would get various opportunities from this platform itself.

Year after Year, Gabriel’s organisation achieves many milestones and to celebrate the journey, they decide to host a Grand Music event. The preparations were all done, the musicians from all across Europe were invited and Francis was invited too. By now he had grown old and his music had travelled the world. Gabriel wasn’t aware of this invitation though! In the event, performance after performance, he enjoys the evening and then he hears a familiar tune. The old wounds of past started opening up again. He trembled, as he recalled every smash of his violin on the streets of Paris. The words of Francis echoed in his mind and with great difficulty he collected himself again.

Francis completed his performance and the hall filled with thunderous applause. He was about to bow down to his audience and convey his gratitude for their appreciation, the crowd turned to Gabriel. He screamed, “What an amateur performance! A musician of your calibre is capable to put up a better show. What a disgrace!”. Hearing this, Francis got this shock of his life. He said, “Monsieur, I’m sorry to have disappointed you. If you allow, let me put forth another piece for you”. Gabriel was in no mood to listen. He said, “Perhaps with age, your talent is diminishing too. Maybe its time you should look for another trade.”

There were murmurs in the crowd, but they were all led to the dinner hall. That’s when Francis walked up to Gabriel and said, “Monsieur, in my whole career no one ever criticised my performance the way you did. I’d like to know what is it exactly that you were expecting”. Gabriel replied, “Anyone, but you!” and then he goes on to remind Francis how his indifferent and blunt remarks changed him for life, so much so that he gave up his music.

Francis, with a smile on his face, said, “You may have had a great talent for music, I don’t deny that. But were you passionate enough to make it your livelihood? If yes, my comments wouldn’t have bothered you but it did and see you’re far more successful today. What I told you is what I tell all the aspiring musicians. The life of an artist is not an easy one. As much as you want appreciation you should be able to take the criticism too”

“But you could have been empathetic”, screamed Gabriel.

“Well, that’s my style”, said Francis walking out of the hall humming one of his melodies

Gabriel just stood there, in the middle of the hall, trying to fathom – what just happened?

 How would the story change if Francis would be more empathetic in his feedback or he’d have chosen another way of giving advice. What if Gabriel, continued with his music despite Francis’ comments? What if Gabriel acted with his wisdom and asked Francis his questions in a mature way?

The possibilities are endless, but what we do and act in that moment, changes the course of things at the end of the day! Handling crucial situations, require candid and honest conversations. In the process, we can actually strengthen relationships and create an impact.

A conversation is successful when the warp (you) and the weft (the other person) works together. The story of Francis and Gabriel is a lesson for us to never make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings and try to understand your audience before or during the interaction. As we do this, we’d neither grieve for what’s in the past nor worry about what’s yet to come; instead we’d just stay in the present and make the most of it!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Life Lesson #2

Understanding the Misunderstanding

Selfish: To sell your own fish for your benefit!?